The Deliciousness of Now ~Terry Sitz


Can you
Settle into the soft footsteps of unknowing 
A treasure hunt-- 
Without a map

Can you float--
Resisting the glance ahead?
Breathing deeply 
Inhaling the pungent, sweet slippery --
The mossy-ness of now

Groundless
Moving to a rhythm that beats deeply in your soul,
But faintly,
So that you doubt it is even truly there

And you,
Holding tight,
To keep from falling
To keep from falling
To keep from getting lost in a place with no direction(s)

Can you float--
Knowing that life takes you down a fast moving river
A winding trail, 
An old broken footbridge

That is always unfamiliar

That always makes your heart skip a beat--


If you let it

Knowing no matter how hard you try
To mark your way
You cannot go back
You can only stand still or move on

The blessed seduction,
The mystery calls to you

Your heart lit

With possibilities

 

The uncertainty--

A childish wonder,

Rootless.

Hopeful.

 

Can you feast--

On the deliciousness of the moment?

Of basking in the lightness of life

Believing this is where you belong

Namaste'

 

Recently my daughter journeyed to live abroad for the rest of the year.  She is an adult—a budding bright woman who teaches me a lot about living.  And yet, I worry about her—and a lot of other things when worrying makes no sense.

Soon after her journey began, I heard about her crazy day riding a Vespa in the heart of Berlin.  And so, I was again reminded—I have little control over my life or anyone else’s for that matter.

Ugh—the struggle to maintain the illusion of control.  The struggle to avoid chaos.

We try so often to control and shape our lives, sometimes holding on by our fingertips thinking that if we do X, Y and/or Z, everything will be “good”—whatever that means.  And so, I challenge myself on my own journey to an unknown land:

Becoming comfortable with uncertainty. 

Who doesn’t prefer order to chaos?  Well put me on the top of the list –I love the zen of order.  But hanging onto that sense of control is a buzz-kill for having creativity.

Maybe that is what is so invigorating and challenging for me to paint abstractly.  I have to trust the process, trust myself,  go on a ride that has no GPS.  I have to believe that I will arrive—or at least travel to where I belong and be open to seeing the world, life and myself in new and unexpected ways.  I have to be brave.

So here I am jumping on my Vespa—maybe even WITHOUT a helmet—feeling the breeze in my face, the sun on my skin, tasting fruits forbidden.  Here I am world, ready to let go... Taking my hands off the controls—casting aside preferences and judgments.  Here. I. AM.

And here is “Vespa”  where I travelled these last days/weeks as I let go…new and uncharted territory on a trip that was a wild ride and so exhilarating.

To your journeys…Namaste.